Complicated relationship - Bizznurse


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Friday, October 4, 2019

Complicated relationship

I have this feeling of being afraid all the time, but yet I still faced it everytime. It became problem just in these recent years, as my anxiety has lead me to poor work and study performance.
It also lead me to have complicated relationship with my supervisor during my study years.

When I said that I'm afraid of her, it doesn't mean I am afraid of what she looked like. I'm afraid of what she thinks about me.

I'm so afraid, that I seldom met her. When I tell others about my problem of "being afraid" they said it's normal for a supervisee to be afraid.

What they don't know is, the feeling not just because of who she is to me, it also connected to what I think she would think about me.

One day I told her, "I'm afraid of you".

She asked, why? I can't give her the answer to her question. The feeling is intense, until I want to hide when we cross each other. Now only I know it is because of my anxiety.

But it's already too late.

Elin Mohamad

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